There's a moment in every man's life where everything feels like it's moving but nothing feels like it's going anywhere.

The calendar is full. The to-do list is long. You're working, leading, showing up, grinding. And yet something deep in your gut is telling you that you're off course.

Not by miles.

Just by a few degrees.

But a few degrees over time will land you in a completely different destination than where you intended to go.

I know this because I've been there more times than I'd like to admit.

A few years back I had a season where business was busy, the family was in a routine, and from the outside everything looked like it was working. But inside? I was running on fumes. I wasn't leading my wife well. I was being short with my kids and our home environment wasn’t filled with adventure and excitement as much as routine and sometimes dread. My time with the Lord felt like a checkbox instead of a conversation. I was physically present but emotionally and spiritually drifting.

I wasn't failing. That's what made it so dangerous. I was just... average.

Average is the enemy of everything God has called us into.

That's when this verse wrecked me in the best way possible:

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. — Psalm 51:10

David wrote this at the lowest point of his life. After sin. After compromise. After drifting so far from who God called him to be that he barely recognized himself. And yet the prayer wasn't "God, fix my circumstances." It was "God, fix ME."

That's what a reset actually is. It's a man getting on his knees and asking God to do something only He can do. For Him to create something clean where things have gotten cluttered and renew something right where things have gone complacent.

Create and renew. Those are the two words I want you to sit with.

Create means God isn't just cleaning up the old. He's making something new. You don't have to keep dragging last season's failures, bad habits, and half-hearted leadership into this next chapter. God is in the business of new creation.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. — 2 Corinthians 5:17

Let Him do that work in you and that way you lead your family will be changed for the better.

Renew means there was something right in you that got buried. Maybe under busyness. Maybe under stress. Maybe under sin you haven't confronted. But it's still there — and God wants to bring it back to life. That fire you had for your wife when you first got married? That patience you used to have with your kids? That hunger for the Word that used to hit different? It's not gone. It needs to be renewed.

David’s prayer was personal before it was positional. He didn't start with "renew my kingdom" or "fix my family." He started with his own heart.

That’s the mark of a true leader and man of God. Even a mighty warrior and problem solver like David realized that it started with what was inside himself. He couldn’t lead his home or the nation God has entrusted him with from a place that wasn’t aligned 100% with the Lord.

Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. — Psalm 127:1

If the Lord isn't building it, you're just laboring in vain. I think a lot of us have been in that exact spot without even knowing it. Working so hard at things that aren't producing the fruit they should because we skipped the most important part of inviting God to lead us, convict us, guide us, and reveal to us His Will.

When Laura and I started praying together every morning before the day took over, everything shifted. Our home shifted. My clarity shifted. My direction shifted.

I stopped trying to build the house on my own and started letting the Lord build it through me.

A reset that starts with you and ends with you will only last until the next busy season hits. A reset that starts with God? That one has staying power. That's the one your family actually needs from you.

I will walk with integrity of heart within my house. — Psalm 101:2

I love how David says “within my house.”

That's where the reset matters most and why it’s so important to pause and inventory your life and the direction its headed when you walk through the doors of your home.

Are you leading with integrity of heart at home?

Are you the same man in your living room that you are at work?

Are you guiding your family forward with the same energy you bring to everything else in your life?

If the answer is no, this is your moment of conviction to course correct. Sit down and pray David's prayer out loud. Mean it.

Maybe it's putting the phone down after 7pm. Maybe it's starting a daily devotion with your wife and kids. Maybe it's having a real conversation with your teenager instead of assuming everything is fine. Maybe it's getting back in the gym or finally confronting that sin you've been hiding.

Whatever it is, name it out loud, and start there. One step. One reset. One decision to stop settling for average and start pursuing the abundant life your family needs from you.

Pastor Joby Martin of Eleven22 Church in Jacksonville, FL wrote a book last year and launched a sermon series of the same title geared directly at helping men.

Billy Graham preached a sermon on how you can strengthen your family unit in 1978 that is still so relevant today. I was fortunate years ago to have visited the Billy Graham Library in North Carolina and was incredibly moved by his intentionality for the Lord and those that needed the life-changing message of the Gospel.

Dave Ramsey and George Kamel unpack the fact there’s more than 2,300 Scriptures that talk about wealth and money. And I’ve learned the hard way how true Proverbs can be in regards to wealth made hastily. Your best investments are the ones that grow slow and steady, compounding over time. Don’t buy the YouTube hacks and get-rich-quick schemes out there because they are fake. Build a real business doing real work and invest your time, energy, and resources wisely.

Remember, we are building lives, families, and legacies that last.

Rooting for you always,

Joshua Brown
Chief Firestarter at Soulfire